Author Archives: Bianca Eder

In the past months I started to realise that this walk is much more for me than a walk to show myself that I am able to do this, or for Alzheimer. It’s a walk I will take in memory of Miranda’s mother and my own mum.

I have never met Miranda’s mother, unfortunately. Just saw her on pictures or in videos.

When she passed away, I was taken back to the day my mum passed away. My mum passed away after being in a coma for 4 months, it was an awkward time. Because she was there, but at the same time wasn’t there anymore. You start to live in a twilight zone, daily visits to the hospital , every little information that is given to you turns into this big message of hope. I spent New Year’s eve 1996 beside her bed, telling her: “ Wow , if you wake up in the next few weeks, its going to be 1997 already! “

I also told her , while she was sound asleep, that I was gay. In the hope that I would see her reaction on the Heart Monitor, naturally I expected a huge increase in her heartbeat. But nada – so I figured that she wasn’t too shocked about it.

On the 27^th January 1997 my father came to my room at around 21:00 in the evening saying that the hospital just called and that she wouldn’t make it through the night. What followed was probably the weirdest night of my life so far. I was able to say my goodbyes, saw her still alive on the machines, and when they had switched them off. The realisation had hit hard. She would never come home again.

6 months later I left for London, what was going to be a stay for 8 months to give me a break, turned into a runaway journey of 15 years. It was easier for me to cope with it being in London or away from Austria, because I wasn’t reminded of it every day. I was running. And so the death of my mother turned into something that didn’t really happen.

I remember when I had my first flat in London ( 3 years after her death). When all was decorated and I had moved in, I thought : “I am going to call mum to tell her about it!!” and then realised.. I can’t anymore.

Fast forward to 2005. Miranda who was a colleague from work and I decided we wanted to get to know each other better and went to have a bite to eat. That evening was the evening where our friendship started. I could so relate to her story about her Mother who had Alzheimer. That she was still there in person , but at the same time wasn’t there anymore. Miranda and I had a bond, and over the next years I would be part of her journey with her mum.  And Miran took part in my own journey of finally starting the grieving period for my mum.

2010 Trees passed away.

I could so relate to her feelings of her mother’s passing. All the crazy feelings which come with it. I had 4 months’ time to say good bye to my mum, Miranda had years of it. And then it happens, and you are not prepared of the roller coaster of feelings which awaits you.

One believe we share is , our mothers wherever they may be now. Have met. They are laughing at and with us, they think of the weirdest pranks to play on us. And they are looking out for us.

This is the connection I have with her mum. I just know this is the case.

When we do something for Charity it comes out of a personal story. I walk for Alzheimer in memory of Trees Stokkel.

And in memory for my mum Brigitte Eder , to finally lay down my own grief after 15 years of running away from it.

So tomorrow when the going gets tough, I will think of these two and of my brother who passed away , way too early. And I expect all 3 to kick my butt across the finish line.

100km down memory lane.

My brother Markus

My mum and I

Miranda’s mother Trees

When I decided to do this back in November it seemed light years away. When I started Training in February , it was cold , it was snowing plenty of times and I still remember the muscle pain I had after my first 20km.

In the meantime I have walked around 795km , up until a month ago : 10km during the week and between 20 – 53Km in the weekend, every weekend.

With 8 days to go , I can only say : I am ready!

When I think of 10^th August , I feel my heart starts beating slightly faster, I get butterflies in my stomach and a weird grin appears on my face. There are moments I just want to put on Whitney Houstons ”One moment in time” , just to make those moments more dramatic. I admit, sometimes just before I fall asleep I see myself running across the finish line with the Austria flag waving behind me and Whitney is singing just that. All in slow motion.

Yep, it’s quite a big thing for me these 100km , just simply because I never did anything like that and as much as some like to think that I am the younger sister of the Terminator Arnie Schwarzenegger, I am more a Woody Allen when  it comes to pain. Physically I am a bit of a wimp.

But I have a strong mind. Once my mind is set on something or I have a belief (in myself) ,  that’s it. When I was a teenager with a height of 1,64 and weighing 93kg in my best times,  in my mind I was the Angelina Jolie of Austria. I remember when I sat with a group of friends and we were talking about what we think when we look in the mirror in the morning, they told of their insecurities” this is not right, this needs improvement”.  I just leaned back in my chair and said : “Wow, I look at myself in the mirror and think you are gorgeous”

My weight back then did not stop me from doing anything or getting any date I wanted because of my mindset.

My mindset has let me accomplish a lot, even if the odds were against it. And quite frankly, failure is not an option.  And it is Mind over Body, so that’s in my favour.

So I say it again : I AM READY!

Here is a little picture to show you something else my mind was set on.

Without pushing you , in any way shape or form. Just look at it. Breath in – Breath out – just concentrate on the numbers, look to your right ..now look at the highlighted number on the left.  Now read the headline.  No pressure , just let it work deep into your mind….when I count backwards from 5 you will have an irresistible urge to go to

http://www.actievooralzheimer.nl/acties/biancaeder/100km-walk-to-help-fight-alzheimer/actie.aspx

And click on the donate now button.

5

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When I decided to walk for Alzheimer, I knew two people who were directly affected  by Alzheimer. In both instances their mother had Alzheimer.

3 things which have been a reality check for me :

1 ) People I didn’t know before sending me DM’s on Twitter or private messages on Facebook, telling me about someone in their family who has just found out that they have Alzheimer or has been living with it for some time. Private stories people share with me. I can tell you one thing, it is touching every single time.

2) People I know, people I follow on twitter and who follow me back. Shit, there are lot’s who send me DMs telling me they sponsor me because they are directly affected by Alzheimer. I didn’t know that before, because this is not something which just comes up in a tweet or in a general conversation. But man  – oh boy oh boy – there are more people who are affected in my TL than I thought. That is scary shit.

“Sorry I decided to let my heart speak tonight, and my heart uses swearwords”

3) At #truamsterdam I had the chance to tell people why I chose Alzheimer and what I was going to do. It is a fact that 1 in 5 people will get dementia, with Alzheimer being the most common form. To make a point, I started counting 1, 2, 3 , 4, 5… then reality hits you. Count when you are in a room with 40 people, it really hits home. 1 in 5 !!

That’s a reality check.

My grandma has a form of dementia. Every time I call (she now had a stroke as well, so I can’t talk on the phone)  or when I see her ( which is not that often as she lives in Austria), she asks me the same things:

Bianca? Bianca?

Where do you live now? ( for the past 7 years the answer is Amsterdam)

What do you do?

Are you married already?

Where do you live?

But she recognises me (after a split second, because she needs some time). To a parent, a husband or a wife or a grandmother or anybody else who has been close to you all your life and they don’t recognise you, that is a freakin scary thought.

It scares the shit out of me. People, let’s get this Alzheimer Research going. Let’s please, please work on this. Because I hope, I really hope by the time I am old enough (dementia at a young age, can begin as young as 40!) we have found some sort of cure, prolonging quality of  life before the shit hits the fan.

Let’s get it going!

Thursday and Friday this week it was time for one of my favourite events. #TruAmsterdam (The Recruiting Unconferences or TRU Events are a series of pure unconferences organised worldwide, where the emphasis is on conversation, communication and the free exchange of ideas and experiences. www.truamsterdam.com )

The awesome organisers of #Tru @liesbetderouck , @patrickboonstra , @renebolier @gordonlokenberg en @billborman gave me the podium to talk about my walk not only that but they donated 250 Euro to the cause! What a Kick-off!

Two mornings, I had time to talk about #BiancaWalks, why I am doing this and talk more about Alzheimer itself and why I chose Alzheimer Nederland.

I was slightly nervous on the first morning. I mean come on, a room full of Recruiters who want to hear motivational / inspiring Recruitment stuff …

But I can tell you one thing, it was mindblowingly beautiful! People donated, talked to me about the walk , also stories were shared about someone they know who has a form of dementia and offered help in completing my wishlist.

#Tru is always a special event, but I have to say all the generosity , dare I say…the #Trulove really touched me. I was thinking about this today whilst I was walking and just want to say it one more time:

To the people who made #Tru happen : Thank you so much for creating this opportunity!

To the people who attended #Tru : Wow, wow wow..to just donate like you did, that was awesome! More than awesome! Thank you so much for all your encouraging words, that was ….awesome too!

And to @liesbetderouck, thanks mate on your  proactivity and pushing the cause. I shall, from now on call you : the money collector.

The End result of those 2 days was : 547 Euro and 38 Cent!

And it shows, Recruiters have a heart too

Really thrilled to have the sponsor plan ready! Big thanks goes to the Guys from Dutch Design with Lemon who did all the layout and design! Thanks Vincent and Frank!

Please also have a look at the wishlist , maybe you are the person who can help or know someone who can help?

Sponsorplan BiancaWalks